My son was three months old when he underwent a major surgery. Like many parents we focused only on the surgery, postop check ups and getting him back on track again. What we didn't realise and nor did any of the doctors talk to us about was the neurodevelopmental impact of the surgery on our son.
Multiple studies however not enough to draw a concrete conclusion, point towards a developmental delay in infants who undergo major surgeries in their first year of life. The extent of delay though varies from child to child what remains common is most if not all do experience some form of developmental delay compared to their healthy peers who never had any surgery or hospital stays.
What I found astounding was the fact that no doctor had spoken about this to us. I for one was always wondering as to why my son was not catching up without realising that maybe its related to his surgery. Sadly even the doctors I had been to never brought up surgery rather would always tell me he is lagging behind and need to know why.
When babies were reaching new milestones, exploring the world around, getting all the tummy time and trying hard to get on their knees and crawl, my son had a surgery, was on his back for most part, running between hospitals, clinics, appointments, tests and awaiting his progress report postop. When the two infants are not in the same situation or environment how can the two be compared against the same developmental milestones.
Their little bodies go through so much while they heal and its almost like the focus now shifts to recoup and rebuild their bodies to normal working condition while everything else like learning new skills, strengthening their muscles, communication and much more can wait.
My son did everything at the fag end of the milestone timelines. He rolled over, sat up unsupported, got into sitting, walked and most of it all much later than a child his age. If walking was a milestone that toddlers achieved between 12 months to 18months, my son walked at 17 months, to the very end and he skipped crawling altogether.
Get all the help you can, talk to your doctors, bring up your child's surgery, long term implications and what you could do to help. Talk to other parents who went through or are going through the same as they have similar experience and could sometimes give you answers to what others can't.
I had spoken to many moms who went through the same, read a lot of articles online however limited on this topic and have arrived at the conclusion that surgery does impact their physical development, language development, speech, their ability to learn new skills, both fine and gross motor. My son is shy and very cautious, he needs a lot of encouragement, guidance and push to try new things, he often holds himself back where his peers zip through.
He is learning at his own pace, eventually and gradually catching up. Even though he has a long way to go he is trying and meanwhile needs a lot of handholding and push but don't give up as I see my son making progress and hoping someday all this will be behind us and wouldn't really matter. What would is to see him finally live a quality life that he deserves.
I am writing this as a mother of a toddler who under went a major surgery at 3 months of age. Neither am I a doctor nor do I have any scientific evidence to back my sons case but what I do have is experience to share. In a hope that it will help so many moms out there who are going through the same thing as I am and wondering why their bubba is lagging behind.
I would leave you on a positive note - one of the moms told me her son who had a similar condition as my son's is now 28 years old, university topper and working at a huge global MNC, doing really well for himself. No one could now believe what struggles he had as a toddler and how much his mom had to handhold and support for him to catch up, which he finally did and how!!
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