Pregnancy, motherhood, and parenting is a beautiful phase of ones life. Whether it is accidental or a longing for years, planned or due to societal pressures, whatever your reason once in it you get pulled into it wholeheartedly. Right from when you announce pregnancy you find yourself swamped by people from loved ones to distant relatives, besties to long lost friends and all those random strangers telling you what to do, what not to do and how having a baby is going to change your life for the best. Advice, Advice, Advice on anything and everything, but what no tells you or prepares you for is what's to come postpartum. Let's get yapping about that.
Many of us hear motherhood to be the most beautiful, fulfilling chapter of life, that it would complete our family and strengthen our marital bond but what no one speaks of is the the relentless lifelong commitment, immense patience and unconditional love that are the prerequisites to be a mom or a parent. We may already know that it is not going to be easy, but it's much much more than that so prepare yourself to accept everything, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
The first few days postpartum will be tough, your body, your mind and nothing will feel the same. While you'll fall more and more in love with the babe in your hand, you'll crave sleep, sleep and some more sleep.
Having all the help you can get is just amazing, but its the nights that get tricky, when you are up every other hour and there is nothing much others can do unless you start pumping and god knows they poop, they poop a lot the first few months. I remember being constantly shabby and zombie like with spit ups, poop smells around and drool all over me. Burping may become a mandatory ritual if your baby is gassy or even more so if bottle fed.
It does get better over the months as they start to sleep longer, poop lesser, feed larger and feeds are more spaced out and guess what they burp on their own finally. When they hit the 5 month mark, usually things, they start to sleep through the night, well almost and take naps during the day that means more time for you to do the things you want to - relax, recoup and reorganize for the next day.
As women we do so many things each day, whether single, married or living with partner, stay at home or working we just don't have the luxury to care only for ourselves. We have to plan everything from simple and mundane tasks to complex as running the household, making sure everyone gets what they need, bills are paid, pantry is stocked, all appointments are kept, you get the gist. Society has come a long way, I see more and more men helping and sharing the load but are we there yet? Maybe not YET!!.
My intention is to not scare you but reality is not just what people say, it's not as simple as many Indian parents say - don't over analyse they just need a bit of food, few clothes and they grow up. Nope, there is a lot of effort, time and commitment that goes in before they grow up and get independent even then it's a lifelong commitment so embrace what's to come, prepare and equip yourselves better. While it is the most beautiful and rewarding job of a lifetime as everyone says, it is not going to be easy is what we all need to hear as well.
When my son looks at me with so much love and innocence it melts my heart, all my troubles wash away and I feel like I can do more, give more and keep going. If I experienced love through my husband, parents, siblings and friends, its my son that taught me to be selfless, unconditional, and undeterred to keep going .
My key takeaways for you - Enjoy each phase of motherhood with childlike innocence, with acceptance of what's to come, and with lots of patience and love. Its tough, trying and many a times just tyring, yet it is immensely gratifying and absolutely fascinating. Parenting is neither a natural progression of committed relationships, marriage or life nor is it just a joy ride, it may not be for everyone but for ones that do get into it, its is mix bag of surprises!!!.
Congratulations and Welcome to Parenthood.
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