Breastfeeding is a natural and most beautiful bond between a mother and a baby, but is it for everyone? what if a mother is unable to or chooses not to breastfeed for whatever reason, is that not her choice?
As a society we often feel a constant urge to tell others what is best for them. In the process knowing or unknowingly we make many new mothers feel guilty, especially so if they are unable to breastfeed, while at the same time we surprisingly frown upon those who do it unapologetically in public.
Does been there, done that really get us the right to judge or tell others how to experience their motherhood. Isn't beauty in the fact that every journey is so unique, with its mistakes, learning and accomplishments. While all the support in raising babies and tips from loved ones is welcome, it shouldn't stress out the new parents. None of us is born ready for the job, so lets please stop applying the template of other's experiences and reactions to our journey, rather let's make it our own with our choices.
Just like babies, there are all kinds of mothers, for some the bond is instant, for few its gradual, for some the milk kicks in immediately postpartum and for few it may take a couple of days, while for some of us it may not be as simple. There could be umpteen reasons for a mother to not breastfeed - health conditions (mother or baby), postpartum depression, emotional disconnect, unable to lactate or establish a latch, full time working or reasons we cant even begin to comprehend.
While breastmilk is the best for both the baby and the mother, in case its not for you it's okay, please don't be hard on yourself and definitely don't give any the right to judge you. Your journey, situations, struggles and growth are unique to you and only you can decide what works best for you and your baby.
Motherhood in itself is tough, you go through so much physical, emotional and psychological changes, added to that you don so many hats whether a single mother, housewife or working its never easy. Be patient and kind to yourself and the last thing you want to do is to let anything get to you.
We often give advice freely even if it is uncalled for, it is so common and part of every society that many a times we dont even realise that we may have crossed a line. Many of us are constantly shamed for switching to formula milk within months of birth or sometimes for exclusively formula feeding or using both and what hurts the most is it's the fellow women, mothers who judge us the most for your choices irrespective of our reasons and struggles.
While we may be thankful to all who helped us through our journey, their experiences and suggestions making parenting a bit easier but at the same time be conscious that circumstances may not be same. Some suggestions would be a perfect match, few others may work while many would need customizations and still some just won't fit. To truly understand someone and their situations, choices one needs to walk in their shoes, problem is sympathizing is easy, its empathy that takes a lot of work!!.
Comments